A few weeks ago, a treasured friend in my lifegroup said this simple observation: “Isn’t it so weird how we are always waiting on something different to come? We always have something that we are waiting on.” She went around and named just one thing that came easily to her mind about each of us in the room. Things we talk about, things we cry over, things we are waiting on. I sat, thinking about everything I am waiting on and how I pray for those things in the majority (entirety?) of my time in prayer.
One thing I have been waiting on just came true. I am officially licensed as an LPCI. I am ecstatic, thankful, and praising the Lord for his faithfulness during my transition from assistant world to counseling world. I’m thankful that He has given me gifts to use in this field and more thankful for his Spirit and grace that has been bestowed on me. I have those gifts to offer, nothing more. And I’m thankful for that. But, at the very same moment, I’m waiting. Waiting on something else to happen that I’ve been praying for. I actually have a laundry list of things that I want from Him. And that word, “want” sticks out like a sore thumb.
A pastor-in-training at my church recently used Scripture and the love of prayer in South Koreans to help me better understand my lack of belief in the power we have through the Spirit in our prayers. Thor said it would be such a joy to know that the Lord wants you to pray for certain things. He said to ask God first, “Is this something I should spend my time praying?” My time has been spent selfishly, never asking God whether or not these are things I should spend my prayer time praying for. I just pray and ask.
To go back to that word that stuck out earlier: want. I am praying for my heart to be much more inclined to knowing God, having others know him, and pursue His goodness and mercy. I am praying first to thank him, ask for grace in my failures, praise him for that grace, and beg God to show me what his heart is in the items I am praying (waiting) for.
“No eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.” –Isaiah 64.4